We’re getting close to The Longest Yard 2: 2006-2008 Florida Gators.

Jeb is a MESS

“People in the drive-thru ask if I’m JaMarcus Russell. I tell them no, then tell them yes as they drive off.”

Talk to Manu Bennett, he knows how it’s done.

Good point. I mean, why isn’t he out there assassinating people? 

Not many people know this but Milwaukee actually comes from an old Ojibwe word meaning “Yeah, but what about Black on Black crime?”

Per league sources: Chris Bosh will be returning to the Toronto Raptors as their masclot.

I doubt it, football players at Auburn aren’t known to have a strong defense.

Carson Wentz will win Super Bowl MVP this year, fuck you.

Christ, I hope someone is pruning all of the trees at the Peterson estate. Dude’s gonna be angry.

The principal of the school has good principles, unlike @jgarner63077.

People always forget that the most important step in filing a title IX complaint is going to the media.

YOU’RE WEIRD!

“On a perfect day, I know that I can count on you...”

RIP

Gah. Shut up, Jim Harbaugh. Just shut the fuck up. Not everyone on Earth thinks all problems can be solved through overexuberant, say-nothing coach-speak platitudes. Jim Harbaugh is the direct male corollary to the talking Malibu Stacy doll.

I would have expected some opportunistic predators feasting there.

I don’t normally root for the Pirates, Marlins, or Mets. But, when I do, its so the Cardinals don’t make the playoffs.