A DUI is no laughing matter. My daughter's friend Jenny was killed by a drunk driver last month just outside Coors Field. I'm just kidding.
She did lose both her legs though.

I don't think you can go wrong with a 'The Carpenters' album. For my money, Karen Carpenter is about as good as it gets. At this time of year especially. It's just nice to have on in the background when you're passing 'round the turkey and the pumpkin pie, opening presents, and excusing yourself to quietly stick your…

I remember watching my son attempt that very same wind-up. The ball ended up about 8 feet from the plate. It was hilarious, and im laughing right now just thinking about it.
Kids stray the darndest things.

My wife Diana is good with puns as well. We call her 'Wryana' because of this.
It's a bit of an inside joke. Actually not anymore I guess.

A Modern Farmer when faced with a manure shortage, orders 30 extra bags online from the co-op.

This reminds me of a farmer I knew back in Moore. I answered an ad in the paper advertising 'The Finest Pork Belly in Choctaw County', so I had to see for myself.
I took the number 8 bus that day, I remember because there was a Cherokee gentleman sitting beside me. Anyway, - I picked up the pork belly, brought it home…

A Modern Farmer is concerned for his family and the generations ahead, due to the rising price of grain commodities, and foreign intrusion into the marketplace.

It's good to see professional athletes enjoying themselves around the holidays. Quite often we forget that athletes are people too, with feelings, and hearts that beat just like yours and mine. Next time you see a professional athlete be it at a mall, or Jai Alai court - wish him or her a Merry Christmas! Or if…

I wish nothing but success for this young man.
He'll enjoy the Texas summers, (I know, I used to live in Johnson City, until we had to move so my wife could start her new job in Dripping Springs) and hopefully his new house will come with air conditioning.

My Aunt Leonore gave me a wool sweater for Diwali last year. It was pretty itchy at first, but after like, 3 or 4 wash cycles, the fabric becomes softer. I can safely say it is one of my favourite sweaters, and on days like this, it's like a nice warm hug.

I feel sad for this young man. He gave it his all in front of a collection of peers and strangers. It must be hard to keep your emotions in-check, under the crushing weight of expectation. He'll be back, just you wait.

These are fun. They remind me of my Cub-Scout badges.
I once received one for being the best at being able to ride a bike.
I still have it somewhere, probably in a drawer or box.

Last time I spent $56.69 in New York, I had just finished a pleasant and satisfying meal from Serendipity. Quite delightful actually.

Pass the Rock! Shoot the J!

Someone told him there were a ton of Indians to exploit in England.

This difference between this picture and a picture taken when he is 70 will be minute at most.

Ya but his running mate Brusche really wiped out any chance they had.

"Bees are dangerous."
-Thomas J.

I used to only read Village Voice for info on which Greenwich Flophouse the next clown orgy would be taking place in. But now it appears they've got their NFL coverage back up to speed. This is GREAT news.

The last time Ellen had someone down on one knee in front of her, Anne Heche had misplaced a Tag Heuer.

[walks over to open fire and roasts chestnuts]