one of the cooks decided wandering off drunk into the forest was better than working.

The waitress would ask if they wanted it without the stick, but noooo, they wanted the stick in it so that they could send it back to the kitchen to have the stick removed (because they couldn’t do it themselves).

The “drop ID in the mail” thing is technically true, in that the post office treats the ID as non-mail found in the mailbox and makes an effort to return it to the owner. At the library we regularly get packages of library books that someone dropped in a mailbox, and with only the library stamps as a guide, they’ll…

I would do anything for meatloaf, but I won’t do that.

“I have never been to a wine tasting.” There’s your operative phrase. It’s a wine bottle. At a winery. The wine is stored in casks before being bottled. The bottles are stored carefully so as to preserve their value for sale. Not in the rat toilet. It’s a business, not the Count of Monte Cristo.

I have to admit I was part of a ridiculously large order at a fast food restaurant. It was midnight, we were 20 some college students at a leadership conference, and Burger King had a $1.50 for 10 chicken nuggets promotion going on. That meant we could get 500 chicken nuggets for under 80 dollars. Our minds were…

No the whole drink is covered, it works the same as the free drink reward (or it did up until sept 2014 when I left, One year free woo!) I had a regular come in once and order a venti caramel frap with three shots ($1.50 at the time I believe) a banana ($1) mocha ($.60) Protein Powder ($.60-$1 I cant remember) whip…

Only if there is tiramisu for desert

So, who wants lunch? My treat.

The brain, which we often think of as the source of higher thought and reason, is divided into various regions. One of these regions is the brainstem, which plays a vital role in the regulation of the body’s various functions such as breathing, metabolism, and locomotion.

I hate stupidity. People are stupid. I hate people.

It’s almost as if they’re trying to confuse people on porpoise.

The close-ups reaaaaally make the onions look like earthworms though. Delicious earthworms.

That isn’t a bad idea. I could then wear the fancy feathers I’d stolen from their stylish little corpses. Or, do something less creepy.

i have a “vegetarian” coworker who continues to eat fish. and the one time i made the mistake of asking her if she was a pescatarian, apparently she thought i was calling her something dirty. the silver lining is that she doesn’t talk to me anymore and that’s fine with me

I’ve wanted to share this story but was never able to as it’s barely food related. But, the Dominos/Pizza Hut story brought it to mind and now is my time.

“dragons nesting in the mozzarella tub” That is some excellent prose.

There is a special place in hell for people who order delivery during snowstorms. And in that hell, crab rangoon will always be Three. Blocks. Away.

I also worked at a Subway (so glad to hear these are your favorite stories). My story is short but fucked up: I worked there when I was 16, and was often left alone. This was in a small New England town before the present heroin/pill epidemic became a problem. so that was really no big deal, plus my parents lived a 10…

I was trying to explain to my English husband about what Friendly’s was- basically a place with rocking grilled cheese sandwiches and ALL THE ICE CREAM YOU COULD EVER WANT in a variety of forms. LOVE Friendly’s.