It's one of the cars Megan Fox bends over.

I do think a lot of people would feel that way. To be fair, my parents and I were already *much* less devout than my grandparents, so the scandal was enough to push us over the edge.

Anecdotally, the RCC's response to the abuses within their ranks is the primary reason why my parents and I simultaneously left the Church, and this is after literally centuries of devout Catholicism on both sides of the family. I'm certain we weren't the only Catholics to jump ship at that point. It was fucking…

He's live streaming himself marathoning all his movies in his upper colon.

Also, fire batons.

“We will have so much co-winning that you will get bored with co-winning.” - Donald Trump

Well, this is a deal.

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away” is correct, not “A long, long time ago”

Well for one Bill Kristol identifies as a Galactic Imperial.

Jar Jar Stinks was a revelation. I hope he can afford shoes now.

My great grandfather was enlisted in the French Foreign Legion and in his mess hall there was a sign that read "Alcohol kills, but the legionnaire is not afraid of death."

You can't take the sky from me.

That's great, Dirtbike Milksteaks, but what do you think about the Newswire?

According to FBI tweet: #Breaking no seizure warrant at the arrest of Martin Shkreli today, which means we didn't seize the Wu-Tang Clan album.

Is he, uh, available to do whipcracks on commission?

Last night a bar in Logan Square (Chicago) did a Mos Eisley Cantina night and I saw a white dude in Han Solo costume who, in the ne plus ultra of I'm-not-afraid-to-be-shot-by-a-cop, was calmly strolling down Milwaukee Ave with a holstered airsoft revolver on his hip.

I hope Pizza Hut's prepared for an extremely tin-eared Geraldo Rivera lecture.

It's just "babe" for people really stingy with their b's.

Ha ha ha what a story Muwarr.

They're gonna need those goggles for Saget's cameo.