3rd Gear: “We don’t see a place for aluminum in our trucks because we spent too long literally bashing it and our egos are too big to admit we were wrong”

There is only one proper Jalop answer to this.

Worst Blues Brothers reboot idea.

This has rapidly become one of my favorite features on this site... if Jalopnik ever starts a second TV show, I’d watch the hell out of a show where David travels the country looking at the cars from these ads.

If you’ve got two rows of seats facing each other, you really only need one door on each side. “Every seat gets its own door” can go away if all seats face inward.

...why does it have side mirrors? So you can see the impending fuck-up and not be able to do anything about it?

I assume that thing dangling from the center of the dash is an infotainment pod. Why not have one for each passenger? The one in the driver position could have a lockout feature to fully or partially disable the others. Or if everybody has their own earbuds, the “driver” can make it choose-your-adventure for all.

Global Pacifier: Encases the planet in an impenetrable shield, permanently cutting it off from the rest of the galaxy. A research station can be built to study the planet afterwards.

“And in “modest” uphill driving or towing conditions, Ford F-250 and F-350s were measured to emit 30 to 50 times the standard set by the EPA.”

Come to beautiful Detroit where the People Mover runs only in a small circle and is only useful for attending the auto show! It’s only 75 cents to ride but the stabbings are free (or so i’m told). Otherwise drive your own car though the massive potholes! It has so many cool things but none of them are anywhere near…

Detroit, The Motor City.

This is never not appropriate:

I’m preemptively rolling my eyes at the inane GM scare ads that will try to bash the F-150 Hybrid.

Holy Christ you people have it easy. None of this means anything, it’s just palaver.

And here I thought cobalt was completely worthless:

Recycling, recycling, recycling. It’s time to get some Nickel Back

wow, that maxima really got squashed.

It was supposed to be a simple repair. In and out, 20 minutes.

LEARN TO FUCKING SPOT WELD YOU CUNTS!