It’s Interpol not Joy Division.

Trying to shoot the bees got me right in the funnybone.

Ayn Rand didn’t inspire capitalism.

Oh spare me.

I’ve never seen Forrest Gump or A Few Good Men or Big or anything else. I know what they are, but I’ve never seen them.

Film reimagining: A 12 hour period wherein women get revenge on the men who hurt them and they won’t be charged for it: the purge

What’s amazing is that you can’t see yourself doing any of this. You must be a nightmare as a boyfriend; I bet your favorite girlfriends are all really submissive and insecure, and that you’re super proud of yourself for “getting them to believe in themselves”, meaning you boss them around a lot.

I’m just saying, if you’re gonna lie and make up a politically-motivated rape tale, it should at least be an actual rape tale. “Almost raped”? Y’all kidding me?

Why is the integrity bar so much lower for Republicans, and why are they not held to the same standard?

I am very concerned that the Republicans are lying to us all.

Once again, you’re apparently responding to messages that no one ever wrote, filled with sentiments that no one ever expressed.

Wow.

Aaaaaand now all Mario games are ruined for me.

Dear dipshit: Your sarcasmometer is all kinds of broken. Get it fixed before you make yourself appear to be an even bigger fool.

“May be”?

Actually that should be six words:  Convicted Republican Child Molestor Dennis Hasterts

Also, if you have this on DVR, freeze on the papers talking about H.E.L.P.E.R. Only this show would legit put jokes into the text of something that is on screen for literally one second.

^^^ This.

Dude: when you decide to have that stick in your ass removed, call three tow trucks. One just won’t do it.