Illegal is as illegal does. Deport it. End of.

“I love my mama very much, and now you know that”.

Yes. Exactly. No fruitless misplaced protests. Just sports. Which the fruitless misplaced protests have been ruining.

It’s not “politics,” but basically anything that “I disagree with.”

Yes, congratulations to the fifth owner of this one owner Supra!

I’m gay. I’m not a prude. This is gross.

I still can’t tell if this “advice” column is supposed to be serious, or if there’s just some inside joke I’m not getting. This can’t be real advice, can it?

Don’t worry everyone… I got this.

For real, this shit ain’t charming at all.

Today I learned that New York State has publicly-owned ski resorts because of course they do what is wrong with you New Yorkers

So, let’s just let everyone in, until the US is just as poor and overcrowded as the rest of the world, amirite!!!

I’m pretty sure the justification is that they are here illegally.

Stupid never sleeps.

My wife has two degrees from UC Berkley, including a Women’s Studies minor and thought this article was a huge reach and actually chuckled a few times as I read it aloud to her (confession: I may have dramatized my reading a bit). I guess I should tell her that she has no critical thinking skills now?

“I was a parent of two and involved with the father of my children, but we weren’t in a relationship or anything.”

Lol I’m sure you’re “right”

You’re a reprehensible piece of shit, Megan, and Locomotive Jones will celebrate when you’re as broke as A.J. Daulerio, another disgusting piece of shit who used to work here.

On the bright side, Project Slow Devil provided some of the best Jalopnik in my 5 years of reading

Explain the sex offender registry. Explain not being able to vote or own a gun after you’ve paid your time for the felony crime? That little check box on job applications that asks if you’ve been convicted of a felony? Giving up your rights to search and seizure while on parole? You’re never done paying. I’m not…