It’s Jeter In Butt Land, and it’s not close.

If they don’t find you handsome they should at least find you handy.

Did you know Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard?

“One can be for freedom of religion while criticising said faiths.”

No, you have the right to complain. Absolutely. I served in the military for 6 years to protect that right, and even if I hadn’t, I would still agree with your right.

do you know what “undisputed” facts are?

“And whole grains: brown rice, quinoa, millet, beans.”

“No comment.”

Hey I know you guys are about to be a little cash strapped re: the Hogan lawsuit so I’ve come up with some ways that will save you money while also not affecting your readership at all!

Coincidentally, $5,953 is how much pizza Chris Christie was trying to order on that train full of communists.

This is even more impressive when you realize the officer was unseeded.

2000 called and said get some new fucking jokes

chid - [shits in a brown paper bag]

This is the strangest trolling I’ve seen in a while. The combination of yelling, irrelevant old data, and misdirection through a perceived lack of exposure to the English language is a heady mixture.

I’m at DeAndre’s house right now and except for the gun and eighteen sticks of dynamite Steve Ballmer’s holding this whole party is pretty chill.

Wow.

In a secret dungeon, in utter darkness, a screen spasms to life. A hand is seen, and a balding head, slumped over the armrest of a satin divan.