No. Billy has a much worse vocabulary.

You mean he’s the blogger version Ray Hudson, the worst announcer of all time?

I know about the FA Cup. And Champions League and Europa League and that it wasn’t always called that. I’m a Swansea City fan. I also have favorite teams throughout random Euro leagues. I even have an MLS team.

It was truly embarrassing how early he declared City to be the champions this season. Like suspension-worthy level of dumb

Sometimes I think the soccer commentary here is just aping how the UK soccer press seems to be. Whatever happened the previous Saturday is now the unimpeachable truth, and the sky is always, always falling. Just go with the most extreme opinion that could possibly be gleaned from the most recent occurrence. NFL media…

I like it. It’s like he’s the journalist form of the unhinged soccer commentator who thinks every play is the most amazing he’s ever seen.

Wait.

Let’s not forget that on Aug. 31, Manchester City had the title wrapped up.

Maybe we’re being really harsh. Maybe Billy has no long-term memory, so all his reactions are fully in the moment.

Jesus, not to keep beating this cliche-laden dead horse, but really:

“Every individual match could wind up being the difference between first place and third, between the joy of the Premier League trophy and the agony of falling just short”

Words that can be written about basically every game a title contending team plays in any sport, ever.

Ranger’s striker Kenny Miller

-Antonin Scalia. June 25th, 2015

Kenny Miller was in MLS for a bit, so this is obviously a terrible play that counted as a goal against his team. #MLSsucks

Do we need to explain to Billy what a rainbow is too?

While we’re on the subject, can we talk about what a joke it is that Columbus Crew made it to MLS Cup last year but got shut out of the 16–17 Champions League?

Just wait for the comments.

But where’s the six paragraphs that explain why this proves that American Soccer is terrible?

If we go out in the group stage, Klinsmann will justifiably receive criticism and it won’t be exclusive to “Klinsmann haters.”

This is a very early start to building up the competition to make it appear as if elimination is inevitable and making it out of the group stage is actually an accomplishment. Copa America was played last summer. This is a meaningless exhibition attempting to cash in. All of the teams, minus Argentina, Brasil and…

I’m pretty sure us Klinsmann haters will be present as long as two complete idiots are in charge of our soccer program.