He also told some good stories about John Lynch drinking 34 mai tais and almost beating up Peyton Manning. Glazer is a liar.

Follow the directions, heat until it’s about to overflow, add a spoonful of peanut butter and don’t do anything else.

Most important lesson? Look ahead in the showers.

12.25" see you at the combine.

I don’t? Shit.

If the 72-win Bulls were Deadspin commentators, who would they be?

Looks like he forgot the red wings on that dye job.

Alternate headline: Rick Pitino Ejaculated In Under Three Minutes Against Sypher’s Wishes.

Goons? Hired goons.

Una-Ginger

Coca-Cola: Choose Smarminess

No Mor, mon.

Isn’t he a Mormon, though?

I got blocked by Richman. I tweeted at him “it looks like food is winning.”

How can I write for your exercise bits on Fittish?

I feel it’s my due diligence to Protect This House.™

Moral of the story? NEVER fuck the pizza man.

C’mon bud.

He should have donated money to the Saigon whore that bit his nose off.

A rusty Simmons also appears a few times a week on iTunes.