Or just CTRL+ALT+DEL twice.

I heard they didn't hire Arians because he refused to do a fake press conference. Really? Fake press conference? Cutler does one every week.

12-gauge shotgun in a night club? Now that's Old Style.

Let's not force it.

How Real Are These Rumors About Deadspin Readers Giving a Shit?

Sorry. Should have checked with you.

Glad to see these girls ended in Climax.

Seems like he'd be a better fit in Alabama given his girlfriend's last name.

Y so cramped?

LeBron's muscles are so tight in the playoffs that if you stuck a lump of coal up his gastrocnemius, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

Don't blame me. I'm voting for Kodos.

Semien was a quick release #nailedit

Please respond with a question in the form of a statement.

She just can't stay relevant:

Nope. I don't. Sorry dude.

What do you think about flu vaccine deniers? I heard yesterday that there isn't a need for anyone other than children and the elderly to get a flu shot. I work at a major health institution and it's free. Why the eff wouldn't you get it?

Counting Crow

John McCain doesn't want to hear any more of this "hands up" bullshit.

Saw it live too. I think Hannah wanted to laugh at him.

...and she's lovin' it.