Yeah, they specifically prohibit you from donating if you've had sex with a man, or if you've had sex for money, or if you've had sex with someone who has ever had sex for money, or if you've had sex with someone who has ever used IV drugs. I fall into a couple of those categories, so I just lie on the form. I've had…

My first thought too.

Booze and peanut butter shall not mix in my guts.

Ok, when you're eating peanut butter from the jar in the middle of the night, what do you use to wash it down? Really wanna hear this one.

Oh man, that's funny. I was gonna say The Mayor.

hope next time rick gets captured someone ties him down and shaves him.

The Bronx is up and I'm Brooklyn down.

And they should taste unlike brownies or candy.

By the Apologizing Actors of Albion!

My fiance and I broke up on reasonable terms and she gave the ring back to me. I still have it! I had bought it at a discount by taking a "no returns" deal. "She'll say yes," they assured me.

I've tried to sell it twice. The first time was to a pawn shop where the guy took the ring in the back to "examine" it, then…

God, so many of these, but to be succinct:

The time I bought a Blues Traveler cassingle as a birthday present for the girl I had a crush on, but I opened it first so I could make a dub of the b-side.

Glad I'm not the only one who's never heard of this non-existent store.

I USED to be able to dance. How come I just look like these dudes now? How come my wife and kids are always telling me to stop? Where does the time go?

I'd like to see this so-called case, to be honest. Having a glass case to protect your $300 truffles means nothing if it's unlocked. The Gray's are the true derps here.

I was just thinking about ASMR the other day because I was on the bus and there was this woman behind me with a stuffy nose and she was making these little quiet noises in between her snorting that WERE pretty relaxing. She was like *snort* *snort* *moan* *snort* *moan*. I was into that for a while, I have to admit.

Th…

How can you all be drooling over this here on Foxtrot Alpha, while half an hour later on the Gawker front page, Jordan Sargent is calling Stealth a "terrible" movie?

not this one, then.?

To be honest, these videos are fucking useless until YouTube adds smell-o-vision.

Yessssss.