Every time I come to Toronto, a guy takes me to a Leafs game, gets me pissed, and tries to blow me!

There was a girl who I met at my college orientation whose name was "Aquanette." Pronounced: Akwon- net

3rd prize, they have no idea what grape soda is. It's called purple drink. And it's delicious.

Andy Rooney Voice: "Did you ever notice that nowadays, it's nearly impossible to get a stranger to pee in your butt? And what is with these bureaucrats in Washington?!"

The blockbuster version of netflix now also has games that have been out for 3 or more months. You can get both movies and games for the same prices as before and also exchange discs from the mail for ones in store. I don't think there's a watch online option though.

Thisguy, maybe you didn't know, but there's a little known amendment to the Shenanigans Act of 1923. It's a little wordy, but basically it states that shenanigans doesn't apply to someone who is fucking crazy.

I'm no prosecuting attorney, but I'll go with sexual assault. Bateman sexually assaults Aniston by sneaking his man mayo into her who-ha. (Excuse the legalese).

I would TOTALLY watch a gritty Garfield Reboot. Something along the lines of "Garfield Minus Garfield"?

Rowan, the same thing happened to me… sometimes I'd be able to join a game, but it would just kick me after a few seconds. I actually have pretty good internet too.

T-bone, my version is "beagle face."

Where's the button for internet points? That was amazing.

People of a certain age will not be able to resist this:

Also, Hitler = bad.

I don't know if I'd call "having people build dams instead of grow food" bureaucratic inefficiency. If you are in charge of a country and force people to do things that lead to their death, that's murder.

In Will Ferrell voice, "I'm taking those speed pills of yours, and I'm wearing the vibrating heat beads, and by "Riding your Snake", not only have I lost 65 pounds in four days, but guess what? I found out I'm the Devil! And I will wash over the Earth, and the seas will run red with all the blood of all its sinners! I…

I'm guessing the problem with "Just say no" is the same problem with "don't have sex till you're married." It sounds like a simple answer, but the problem it's completely unrealistic for everyone to follow. People who have only abstinence education on average start having sex younger (and more often unprotected) than…

Have you looked at football players (especially college) recently? No, pretty boys don't do debate is the new saying.

Seriously, Stop Bitching. Have you been to this website before? Also, Beth Ditto is fat.

One time Jonathon Brandis said no to Chuck Norris. ONE time.

Metroid and RE4 are damn good arguments for motion controls. The Wii remote needs to go beyond just shaking it any damn way to get a desired effect, and to be a bit more responsive (smaller shakes). But in the hands of a competent developer, the motion controls can turn out to be awesome. I can only imagine playing…