I actually thought Esposito does a close-to-decent job for a non native speaker, but yes was happy they spared us that, even if it made no sense whatsoever for the story.

Like Mark Margolis' Mexican accent?

No mention of just how awful Hector Salamanca's Mexican accent is?

Is there anything to suggest they're not a couple?

Someone on another website suggested the cold open might have been a riff on Kafka's "The Trial", in the same way as the two guys waiting for Reagan in last season's cold open was a riff on "Waiting for Godot", both of which are intended to set the tone of the season.

If you must go down the German movie/TV series rabbit hole then I feel compelled to put forth Deutschland 83, which had a more similar tone to Fargo and starred the same actor who played the colonel here.

William Hurt's Locker
The John Hurt Locker
Johnny Cash's Hurt Locker
Please Don't Hurt the Locker

The *best* arms, nobody has better arms.

Or if Ember dies, Umber could take control and instate the Third Reich of Fillory?

Need to invest in renewable magic wells, control those opium emissions.

Isn't that what they say about all politicans?

Or Agent Cooper watching The Simpsons.

Nevertheless…

No but it does have a split screen rabbit hunting to the tune of French-composed pseudo-Japanese psych-pop music cold open.

Mr. Robot, Preacher, Fargo and (as souvien mentioned) Young Pope have come close. But you're right, none of them have been so consistently wtf-level spectacular.

Hihi, definitely top-knotch.

That's how you feel and you have every right to feel that way, and to prefer to watch other shows.

Apparently the Wildlings weren't so keen on paying for that wall either.

If you don't then you don't, you might prefer more conventional storytelling and that's ok. But just a tip which might or might not help you at some point - art doesn't need to make sense to be good, it just has to convey something well. And narrative is just one of many means of conveying that a TV show has at its…

Amos (re: Naomi): “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d do her if she let me.” Holden: “I’m glad we had this talk."