Here is your complaint/commiseration thread.

This morning I woke up and under my pillow was my cat! I can’t tell if he likes the pressure of my head pushing a pillow into his body while he sleeping or if he’s trying to get me to unknowingly suffocate him while I sleep so that he can frame me for his murder Gone Girl style to teach me a lesson. Really hard to…

This is where Donald Trump came from.

I wont claim to know the circumstances of this break up, but it sounds like for the past few years he has been the king of "WHATEVER BITCH ITS NOT LIKE I LIKED YOU ANYWAY"

“What if I got my puppy from a breeder in Canada?” A small child asked in the crowd.

malevolent Cracker Jack Donald Trump

My mom & I were walking along the main street of my hometown when I was around 15, and she casually turned to me and said, apropos of nothing, “Your sister’s going to be much prettier than you when she gets older.”

“I don’t know what you would have done if we hadn’t adopted you- you wouldn’t make a very good prostitute”. (Adopted as a child from a communist country. It was a true statment, but vulgar coming from a parent. Emancipated shortly there after).

Moms everywhere: of course I can push your buttons better than anyone else. I installed the damned buttons.

In the US, are men asked to sign abstinence pledges? I’ve only heard of father daughter purity dances, abstinence pledges for girls, and the like.

full 100 fight me

Obviously, you don’t know that red is the color most associated with Hanukkah or Kwanza. NEVER Christmas. EVER.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I just googled and apparently the “é” in Raven-Symoné’s name is NOT pronounced. It’s the same as “Simone.” Now THAT is a crime against the accent aigu.