Yeah? Then why am I masturbating and trying to get the layering right in photoshop, smartass?

“All I’m gonna do is write essays,” Jefferson said. “I don’t know what they’re going to be. They might be erotic. I don’t know. But I’m just going to write lots of essays.”

I think it’s time for all nations that want to participate in the Olympics to pony up a few dollars, euros, pounds, shekels, rupees, etc. and give them to Greece, where a permanent dedicated Olympic Village will be built. Greece has no money, but they can donate land. Building it will help the Greek economy. (Why…

It is possible that series could be slightly improved by the addition of a countdown clock as to when Mike Matheny gets fired.

He throws his hands up. Don’t you get it?

So Gordon likes marijuana more than football. I get it. One is absolutely terrible for your health and well being. The other is an illegal drug.

Somewhere, someplace, a drunk, homeless, Dennis Mersereau calls out: “DAMN YOU DENTON! THIS WAS MY TIME! ! MY TIME TO SHINE!”

In a year of truly important sports investigations done by Deadspin, this is the apex.

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He must’ve had himself in all his DFS lineups.

Everything is going off the tracks in Wisconsin.