I'd like to give a shout-out to the three, yes three, santaconn-ing girls who I saw quit santacon to come march.

"Half the people there don't even know what they're marching for, so once they figure it out, we'll join."

That must have been the greatest work day ever for the call screener.

That must have been the greatest work day ever for the call screener.

this face says it ALL:

i love that she wasn't like oh i am so proud here are both my sons on national tv doing their jobs they are professionals

the one on the right triiiied to hold it together

LITERAL BEST MOM

Dear Moms of All Politicians Everywhere,

I remember years ago, a woman called into the C-SPAN morning show because she wanted to talk about conditions for injured soldiers at Walter Reed and how she was in Washington and had gone in to see them and was appalled at the state of the hospital. The host asked her some more questions and deduced (correctly) that…

You could actually see them turn into eight-year-old boys over the course of the segment. So good.

"it's mom..." I can only hope to embarrass my kids, on that level, at some point in their lives.

This is the greatest fucking thing I have ever seen.

#teameverybodywannabeaniggabutnobodywannabeanigga

Well, that's one way to tailgate

In my mind, she put on the bottoms, got distracted, forgot what color they were, and was like, "Fuck it, I'm growing a mini human in my tiny self, I haven't seen that part of my body in months, my swimwear doesn't have to match, and I like this pretty foofy top, so that's what I'm wearing."

I can't "pull off a bikini" now, and I've never been pregnant...except with a burrito baby.

But in the cab company's defense, they are claiming Alexis had worn a lot of make up which made her look older, which is clearly a steaming crock of shit.