It’s fine, the goose is this game isn’t a Canada goose, all barrel-chested and majestic, the envies of all ornothologies.

I have what some might refer to as a “pathological hatred” of geese. I love this game more than anything since ‘Katamari Damacy’. 

They haven’t discarded anything. This movie isn’t going to set the status quo for the Joker in the books going forward, or even the movies. This is basically an Elseworlds story. It’s one possible Joker in one possible world. WB has been pretty upfront with saying that this isn’t going to tie to the DCCU at all.

Of…

Middleditch and Lapkus aren’t married and have never dated.

Yeah, well of course he is.

But Belichick isn’t going to answer these questions anymore. It’ll be one presser where he mumbles some shit like, “We don’t answer questions about who’s not on the team.” or something similar. And then I’ll laugh and laugh and laugh...

And Brown just got his ass released by the Patriots about 20 minutes ago, so Belichick won’t be having to not answer these questions anymore.

I would never give them the fucking keys to my house. Hell, they’ve been asking for a set for a long time, and I just say that we’ll always be here when they come over, so they don’t need them.

It’s not working.

I have a whole ocean AND a fuckin’ continental buffer from my in-laws. It’s great. Meanwhile, my parents live two and a half hours away and it’s only great when I need babysitting for my kids. My parents threaten me with moving to Massachusetts all the time, and I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat…

In my neighborhood, the Italians are currently complaining about the Latinos. “Why can’t they learn English like my parents and grandparents did?”
Right. Your nonna that doesn’t speak a lick of English has 100% assimilated. Fuck off with that nonsense.

It’s a million tons of water that’s contaminated with tritium, which has a half life of 12.5 years. Also, it’s a million tons of water into biggest ocean on Earth. I’m sure we’ll all be fine.

My favorite thing that Gutfeld ever did on Redeye was interview Tobacco from Black Moth Super Rainbow with Kurt Loder egging him on. Tobacco just sat in a bathroom stall and you could only see his rainbow socks. It was super weird.

Most of the time there is a sexual component that falls under the whole “abnormal psychological gratification” component. But yeah, I think “gangbanger” is probably the more apt descriptor. Or “gigantic piece of shit and I’m glad he’s dead”...

Formaldehyde just tastes like ghost blood, dude. Man, act like you’ve been somewhere before.

*takes a massive hit of this joint I got from that weird guy on the street*

It’s a virtual planetoid, that thing! It’s got its own weather system!

Right, but the killing he got acquitted off was two people at a single time. So that might qualify him as a spree killer. I don’t think he’s a serial killer because there wasn’t any sexualized component in the murders. At least not that we’re aware of. They also seemed a little spur of the moment.

Hey man, take it up with the nerds at the FBI...

Come on now, he was acquitted of two of those murders, and even if he wasn't, he probably would only qualify as a spree killer...

You made me want to sign up for this now. How does one go about becoming a ref for shitty little kids?

It’d take me at least a solid ten minutes to even start watching the game, because I’d just watch that shit over and over...

Yeah. Money was what drove him out of Pittsburgh and ultimately it’s what got him out of Oakland. I just didn’t see him doing this, and I didn’t think the Pats would meet his offer. But we apparently live in the weirdest, not the darkest, timeline...so I guess here we are.

I hope the Pats have him on the sidelines…