And then Jimmy Fucking Clausen (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) has one decent quarter after 8 years of suck and you have to listen to how “this McGowan guy is actually pretty good! We should sign him to a 12 year deal!”

Should’ve had Sage Steele host from whichever airport she was delayed.

“Hey, I have a lot of black friends. Exactly four.”

Yes but how many were vacated by the NCAA?

I’m not saying he’s fat. I’m saying he’s specifically paid a bonus to be not fat.

lol cuz he’s fat

“I’m no head trauma expert, but can we really trust a guy who can’t even count?”

Sued by DOJ for refusing to rent to black people, ultimately settling the case (despite “never settling”), then sued and settles again for failing to live up to original settlement.

There’s that “liberal bias” I keep hearing about at ESPN. Luckily, we have heroes like Clay Travis and Britt McHenry to defend to good name of Preside...sorry, can’t finish, vomiting out of my eyes.

I wonder how many women stay in abusive relationships because they see stories like this and think “A restraining order won’t stop a bullet.” Fucking tragic on every level.

A pass play at the goal line. Jesus Christ. And I don’t even LIKE the Seahawks.

Trick question, no one ever watches the Jaguars.

If the Jaguars get a win and no one is watching, does it count?

I want Carson back!

talking out the weak side of his mustache

He just needs a little jaundice and his transformation into Homer Simpson will be complete.

People love it when black guys break into places and start doing whatever they want, right?

In Bill Cowher’s NFL, players work for tips.

It must be exhausting carrying that cross on your shoulder all the dang time.