85% of the world is fucking working, the other 15% come out here.

More like bears win, you ask me.

Motherships are overrated...unless nobody would have ever heard of you without one.

A lot of people on Jezebel celebrated David Bowie getting a kid high and drunk and fucking her.

Starred for the yaa baa.

I presume it’s pretty much the same process as hosing dirt off of a sidewalk

I would love a bidet but until then I’ll just continue to poop right before I shower.

I thought it was always the day before Memorial Day?

The Kentucky Derby is the first Saturday in May. This is not difficult to remember, people.

Now I kinda feel bad about all the times I waded into the water to take a piss.

This is an underrated comment.

Since Trump opened the door, Bernie should insist that the money be raised for Planned Parenthood.

Trump is the candidate that America’s cult of personality has wrought. Every time a Jessie Venture or an Arnold Shwarzenegger or a Hillary Clinton was elected to office we came closer to this point. Americans vote for the names they’ve heard of. Now we’re about to elect someone president whose only notable…

I’m starring you because of this:

IF we have to lie in that bed it will be because the Dems nominate an unpalatable alternative.

Russ has a shot?

Really makes you think.

I know, right? Laketown Lake, my ass.

Eh, November is not the time to head north.

Won’t be long now!