I’m an elected official. I also wear pudding on my head. The title makes me seem more important than I am. Mostly I just enforce zoning laws and show up at street namings.  

Chancellor is an elected position. Captain is my rank. My full title is Chancellor Captain Horacio R Puddinghead. Captain Obvious is just sort of a gag name the boys gave me an account of how good I am at pointing out things like The Daily Star isn’t a reliable source.  

hat covers rock, rock now gets %50 more style.

Motions approved, warrants issued? Good. Go inspect. Though I have to admit in my experience when “building code violations” inspections start happening, it’s usually the opening salvo of someone either sending you a message or that court time is coming in a big way.

Just call me Captain Obvious.  

So Rock beats Paper? Hat can't be right.

first the eviction notice gave them days but now this.. not saying it could have happened sooner but 5 days of now is a whole hellava lot of time to break things down and clean it up.. if they find anything id be surprised #cleanedupandgone

Golly, Janeane, maybe HE is the person solely responsible for how his actions affect his daughters.

TIL [has daughter=yes] buffs stack.

Yes. this this this. 

I can.

Of all the comedians I’d expect to offer such a resolute defense of Panama Jackoff, she’s pretty near the bottom. At worst you expect she would go for the noncommittal “he’s my friend”defense. 

Not just one daughter, but two daughters. There’s clearly a bonus multiplier for extra daughters when using them as a shield against sexual harassment claims. If he’d had thirty-seven daughters, we’d all have to apologize to him.

Whipping his dick out was bad enough, but he also actively tried to ruin the careers of those women and anyone who tried to report on it as well. People don’t talk about that enough. Like so much fucking hand-wringing over a guy’s “ruined reputation” and literally nothing about the reps of all the women he crushed…

“And I really can’t see the Garofalo of the early 90s - the alt comic feminist - allowing a comic of that generation to skate so easily if they’d done something like that to her.”

She also dragged out the “he’s my friend” and “question the source”, despite the fact questioning the source(s) is an idiotic statement because he admitted he did what everyone said he did.

A good way for comedians to be left alone is to not have your manager book gigs at comedy clubs. It works; ask Dave Chapelle. It is also entirely possible to criticize C.K. while being his friend. You are not being disloyal by pointing out, when asked, that a good friend fucked up/is a fuck-up.

Look, I get standing up for a friend. But compare this to what Marc Maron said about C.K., also longtime friends. He had asked C.K. privately about the (at the time) rumors and Louis said they weren’t true. When C.K. admitted to the behavior, Maron said on the podcast that Louis had straight up lied to him and fuck…

She’s really using the “He has daughters!” excuse? And tossing in “I’ve known him forever!” and “You weren’t there!”

“I’ll tell you what’s changed between then and now. She says, ‘If I don’t disclaim my association with him, it might hurt my chance to get an Oscar.’ That’s exactly what it is.”

Broken clocks and all that.