I want every post to start with “ARGLE BARGLE” forever.

But we don’t need unions or collective bargaining or wage laws because each individual server can just use the vast power and leverage they hold to stop the managers from doing this sort of thing. Also I have a magic unicorn rabbit that shits skittles.

Let me just get the Pinkham’s Law out of the way, because I don’t see any yet and I’m SURE it’ll happen-

ARGLE BARGLE BUT RESTAURANT MANAGERS WORK HARD TOO AND NEVER GET TIPS DID YOU KNOW RESTARANT MONAGERS CARE ONLY ABOUT THE SUCCESS OF THE RESTESRAUNT AND ARE SELFLESS ANGELS TO WORK AS HARD AS THEY DO FOR THE…

12 million gallons for one home is a drop in the bucket to you? Get over yourself.

The thing that drives me batshit crazy about this whole thing is that Apostolic Christians don’t believe that Catholics are real Christians! Why is she so excited to meet the head of the Catholic Church if she believes Catholics are going to hell?! (Answer: Because she’s an attention whore.)

I wonder if “It was the fault of someone else in the Church, the Pope is still super cool” is basically just their letterhead at this point.

Is there going to be a

I was joking around about the bacon sandwich.

Holy shit! I didn’t even notice that bolded, italicized, mostly-all-caps editor’s note! Silly me!

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

Noelle is a genius. I would have never figured out that the guy was freaking out over the sharpie smell.

We save bread here. We don’t use it to beat people with.

I’m sorry, but I really have to put this here: There, they’re, their:

They are certainly expensive, and not the most environmentally friendly choice, but not everyone can use a menstrual cup. I tried, and it was difficult to put in, and painful to take out. It just doesn’t work for some people. Some people can’t justify spending $20 to find out if they like it or not. Some people are…

Kosovar/British singer. Good voice! Lame, overproduced material, unfortunately. But the girl’s got pipes.

AT FIRST GLANCE I THOUGHT IT WAS GWEN STEFANI.

I’m tired of all that political correctness. I don’t want to have to hide my racism or misogyny! That’s why I’m voting for Trump, so I can feel free to commit hate crimes without worry.

Chalky Death = my new band name.

Here’s the issue. It’s clearly being used to dig for dirt. People in her role before used their own servers. People at the same time in DIFFERENT roles used their own servers. No one told her to STOP using her own servers and it isn’t like it was a secret. They’re trying to find info about Benghazi (because that’s…

fat and tall is the worst. every seat is a nightmare