I eagerly await the day when Michael Bay has more Oscars than that hack, Scorsese. 

“Show us on this Sheldon bobblehead doll where Mr. Moonves touched you.”

I prefer the fan-fic sequel,  Billy's Pud 

I imagine Papa John telling this story over and over again to anyone who will listen. Hoping for sympathy.  And always using the word because dummies who make crap pizza never learn.

His co-stars better hope he only mails them blood. If Leto goes "full Method" he might decide to live in the shadows and try to bite their necks. Because he's a vampire now. 

How long before stories start leaking that Leto will only film indoors or at night. Because, you know, he's a vampire now. 

If #6 doesn’t have a scene of T-Rexes and Valicoraptors settling their differences with a dance-off it’s just wasted potential. And have Bumblebee from Transformers do a cameo for shits&giggles.

First!

In the re-boot a radioactive Peter Parker bites an unsuspecting spider. Edgy!!

I assume they wear robes for the same reason priests do. It’s a physical representation of their “otherness” and of being apart from regular society. It also implies a simplicity in their outlook towards superficial things like clothing. And finally, robes make it much easier to get head from an alter boy. In space.

First! First! First!

First! CancerAIDS for me!

He will be laying in state, in a sales bin right between piles of Journey’s Greatest Hits and copies of the last 5 Dave Matthews Band CDs

Also...FIRST! That’s still a thing, right?

For me this year it’s Get Out or GTFO

I’m pretty sure John Wick could handle Walker and the Boogie Man. Alone. With a fucking pencil.

Thunderbird!

Will NBC ever return to its Caroline in the City, Boston Common, Good Morning Miami heyday!? That was some "shove it in the time capsule" stuff.

First! Also, well done steak is garbage

I've been saying this for years, everything is made better with bacon, Yakity Sax or Tom Morello guitar solos. Or all three, if you've entered heaven.