A chicken, huh? Okay. Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous period. You get your first look at this “big chicken” as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head — and you keep still ‘cause you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement, like a T-Rex, he’ll lose you if you…

As others have said, it’s a Maxima, a lot like this image, but darker.

You are being an enabler.

I sense some more Moab content we’d all read. . .

If you pull the plug on Tracy, he’ll continue to run for at least 20 minutes on the starting fluid that has seeped into his body, likely much longer.

It’s not a 1969 Mustang Mach 1 or something where anyone would care about matching numbers. Good lord. Grab the transmission, slave cylinder, pedals, etc and send this thing to the junkyard.

Or, cut the valve off of a whoopee cushion and attach it to the vent, so that the car farts when you close the doors.

Glue seems kinda permanent for a prank, and kinda nudges prank into vandalism. Just prop them shut with a fish.

The selective outflow of exhauster air also has the effect of continuously purging the passenger compartment of smoky or otherwise contaminated air.

As much money as we spend on our military every soldier should be zooming around in ironman suits. Too bad most of it just flows right onto the income statements of the private contractors with nothing to show for it but some bribes to congressmen “campaign contributions”

The ultimate goal is to beat the shit out of them. They’re responsible for their own fucking conversion.

If you really want to keep pushing this master race thing, you should probably get the hang of “jumping” and “getting punched less often” and “not crying into your phone after acting hard on Vice.”

American History X was just a movie. For every one Nazi you can talk out of being a Nazi, there are 1,000 you can’t. Therefore:

Counterpoint: Fuck Nazis, they deserve to be punched in the face more.

Given the steam coming off of the brake drums, those looked like they were working.

"While the finished product is hardly a Mac Pro..."

It's is like a Mac Pro. Meant for underdeveloped brains. But this one has an added bonus.

It's meant to educate the user and cure both ignorance and laziness.

Heart-click for you, big daddy!

@gabeedwards - Jalopnik is dead! Long live Jalopnik!: I thought that smaller horizontal oval is a brake pedal and the vertical one is your foot pressing on it trying to make it stop.