Were you molested in the Cheers bar as a child, or something?

What non-racist city do you hail from?

Did Eli quit on that play? Asking for a friend. In Dallas.

‘Get me Jon Gruden!’

The 1992 Royal Rumble should be required viewing for anyone that is trying to get talent over. Bobby Heenan’s sole job in that match was to put Ric Flair over to an audience that had little to no knowledge of the platinum haired man from the South, and boy did he do it.

“Hold my water.”

PK on his way to NFL headquarters

Your team is owned by a man who is buried so deep in the Presidents bucket of extra crispy that he was named ambassador to the United Kingdom.

come on, buddy. I’m a huge yankees fan, but like, don’t be that guy.

Next up: Atlanta Falcons.

I mean, sure, let’s just assume that a player hasn’t improved at all since his first three seasons in the league by completely ignoring a) his improved play over the next three seasons, b) the dumpster fire that was his supporting cast up until 2015, and c) the fact his organization has gone through four coaches,…

I don’t understand why this is relevant. The team around him was garbage and the only player that carries a team by himself is Lebron. Even Kobe was missing the playoffs when he had shit around him.

Is it really fair to cite the three years before Lebron got there? It’s possible that Lebron joining the team elevated him in a way that won’t be replicable, but it’s also possible that he was limited because it was his first three years in the league.

Kinda. But in fairness to Kyrie, the Cavs never really had a functioning offense built around skills other than “LeBron James is LeBron James, and whether he is on the ball or off it that tilts the whole floor.” There was no system other than LeBron’s brain. Stevens should be able to work him into a more cohesive…

To me, a big motivation for this deal was Ainge’s desire to not pay Thomas a max salary without his fan base turning on him. While I know Kyrie isn’t a very good defender, there’s probably a greater belief that he can become one, just from a physical standpoint - everyone seems to think Kyrie is a max player. A lot of…

*stamps WHO WATCHES THIS off Commentariat Bingo Card*

That was just when their flight back was...

This is true, it’s weird how everyone forgets that time Sam Hinkie put together a championship team.

And an NBA title as an executive.

Despite BSS’s colorful antics, they haven’t been sued into oblivion with former managing editors and founders disgraced in a Florida courtroom.

You mock their readers and brush aside their contributors, but the site has weekly guests from multiple athletes, coaches, media personalities and celebrities. How many does…