I knew drawing Meghan Trainor in the office pool wasn’t going to pan out.

“’that shirt looks really hot on you’ or random comments about my looks/body. I mean, if someone said that shit to me now, I’d crack down right away,”

TRUTH. Also, every goddamn person you even vaguely know will hassle you to help them move house.

“Finally, one Friday, he said, “Let me borrow it this weekend! I need to move some stuff out of my garage.”

“Never loan anybody your pickup truck.” is a lesson that needs to be burned into the brains of anyone who buys a pickup. Just by it’s nature, anybody who wants to use your truck is not asking for it because they need to transport a cardboard box filled with lace dollies. They’re going to beat that thing like a rented…

We need a mandatory high school class in workers rights in this country. Like the year that you’re eligible to work you attend a class where they talk about minimum wage, hourly pay and wage theft, sexual harassment, workplace injuries and your rights in regards to them, and all the other crap that can happen on the…

I have a persistent stress dream where it turns out I didn’t get enough credits to finish high school and I have to go back, but I am incapable of remembering my schedule.

It’s like this person made his bucket list to purposely do everything wrong in life.

The subtext of Kung Fu Hustle is the negative impact that Hollywood was having Hong Kong and Chinese movies: cheap lazy effects instead of true stunts and fighting.

So you ripped the entire comic off the site and denied them ad revenue? Is that ethical?? Kotaku isn’t really adding much content to the actual comic to justify Gawker getting a click and ad revenue.

My one minute hot take on this

My father in law has had a string of yukons and blames Obama for high gas prices any times it's over $2.50 a gallon. It's his daily commuter.

You deserve every joke made about you.

People who drive giant SUVs and bitch about their poor gas mileage. What the hell did you expect?

That, my friends, is a slipping transmission.

creamed bacon risotto

I swear my sophomore English teacher showed us a version of Romeo & Juliet that had brief nudity. This was pre-internet, so any glimpse of boobs was legitimately a big deal.

“Like a good neighbor, state farm is there.”

- Stalin, to the Ukrainians

I hope that wall had insurance!

11. Dead puppy smell.