Smashing up the Starbucks was supposed to be ironic but the satire just went over the police’s heads. Sad.

John Boehner is trying to have her impeached by alleging that she’s received cunnilingus from a white house intern.

Because her IQ puts her within the range where we don’t see her as having the critical thinking capabilities to knowingly be calculating or evil. Like Lenny didn’t kill that woman because he wanted to kill her in Of Mice and Men, so we don’t particularly say it’s his fault even though he’s objectively committed…

I wish I was paid by Soros, whoever that is. This is the same fake liberal boogeyman/puppeteer strategy that they used a couple years ago with that Saul Alinsky guy. It’s a deflection from the actual boogeymen/puppeteers known as the Koch brothers.

In Trump’s America:

Actually the civil rights movement only went forward because police didn’t want to accidentally hurt the white people in the crowds and, almost like magic, the American people felt like that this was a real and pressing issue as soon as the media started reporting about the white people involved getting hurt.

Every time he says that he’s giving the country back to “the people” it makes me sick. He shouldn’t be legally allowed to use that phrase when the states elected him, and “the people” indisputably wanted someone else. He needs to start saying “the states” instead.

On the bright side, someone saying “Barron is someone else’s kid” could finally drive him over the edge

Yeah no. She’s got a prenup and a kid. She’s financially hostage. She’s got literally no job skills.

Because nobody believes that she’s anything more than a prostitute with tenure.

Duh, but that’s politics. It’s obvious that they were in support of gay marriage despite their public stances. 08' Obama said marriage was between a man and a woman, but supported letting gays get married because it’s not his place to say otherwise. He wasn’t fooling anyone but swing voters.

In synopsis: boys can kiss boys in every state and everyone smokes pot. Compare this to W.’s attempts to amend the constitution to define marriage, and 08' republicans shitting in their adult diapers when we found out that Obama toked in college.

Sex is whatever you want it to be.

You can’t prove that the president felt gratified by that particular ejaculation

Those definitions were specifically written due to the Monica Lewinsky thing. Stop putting effect before the cause.

That’s the post-Clinton definition.

Cannibalism foreplay.

Blowjobs =/= sex. Clinton told the truth.

This sounds like the plot to a trashy airport smut novel except the man in question, like most men who do the things that the guys in smut novels, is undesirable on almost every sexual spectrum.

The entire concept of a dog continuously reincarnating and going through a bunch of owners disgusts me. It’s the dog equivalent of having an open relationship, a veritable slut. The thought of my dog showing the same unwavering affection tthat he shows me, to others, is a betrayal worse than if I found out that my…