Not surprising. Frankly, I’ve been unsatisfied with the way this entire news story has been covered. In an effort to be “first,” something very obvious has been staring the media right in the proverbial face all along. “Balls” is a slang term for male testicles!

“That’s nawt a lawb pass”

FAUX-LATTO

It was already annoying being mixed and looking white without this “tragic faux-latto” bullshit in the news.

Guess now we know how Optimus does it.

Has Deadspin ever even asked for free juiceboxes? Seems kind of petty to expect Tropicana to just offer.

The only strike against him:

Standard divorce procedure - if spouse gets frozen in carbonite indefinitely you can file for divorce without consent.

The second picture there I thought, ‘if they do something with this in the films, she’ll have to be played by Gina Torres.’

I’m coming here from Deadspin, which means that I am much more white, male, and conservative than your average Jez reader, so take this with a grain of salt:

He probably doesn’t remember a time before all they aired was reality shows! *wipes tear*

Only if he’s 5’3”

A camcorder. I'll be damned! Well, that's one way to be sure your videos are in landscape mode.

This is a story in three parts.

Dear flygirl,

The Cubs no longer support GRANDMA 2007. Please upgrade to GRANDMA 2015 for continued service.

I want someone to collect all of those and built a really unreliable house out of them.

For shame. Some 12 year old innocent child heard that and promptly went out and robbed a liquor store.

Four sources tell us there’s a rumor going around ESPN and Grantland that Simmons found out about the move via Twitter.

“ I’m just a Bill, and I am sittin’ here with a lot more time to kill