“Well, anyone could be a teacher, just like anyone can be a fry cook, but who else could come up with the genius idea to sell hamburgers of increasingly lower nutritional value for CHEAPER than the competition?”

He also thinks Akie Abe doesn’t speak English.

He thinks health insurance is life insurance.

Walk into any dementia-care area of a nursing home and you can have basically the same conversation. I’m not kidding.

Yes, consolidate all his outstanding loans into one easy to repay loan.

When we run out of rich people who see sports event attendance as a luxury item that can show off, and less rich people who are way too emotionally invested in the teams they follow.

Never. Seriously.

The brain cancer would only make her stronger because she is, herself a cancer on our entire society.

Well she bought it fair and square

Uh, as a native of Holland, MI and someone whose family still lives there, I’d prefer she not stay there. I feel there are much better places for her, like Siberia for example.

I’ve already spoken to internal affairs. They’ve found no evidence of wrongdoing.

Wait that dumb fuck thing at Bed Bath and Beyond that lets you make your own shitty grape soda? What?

Betsy DeVos is a half-witted, over-moneyed monster that needs to stay in Holland, MI with her equally asshole husband Dick. I was tired of seeing her stupid face before she bought her way into the Trump administration, and I’m even more sick of seeing it now.

Unfortunately the cancer would have nothing to latch onto.

Somebody knows how to appeal to Florida voters.

I think that’s true of everything he says, numerical or otherwise. He listens to himself talk and seems genuinely surprised by what he says half the time.

WHOAH that’s not a Modern Presidential way to use Twitter

You act like cops suspending investigations involving young black men is unusual. Of course, it’s usually because they shot them, but still.

As a Cowboys fan I’m glad players are getting into shit again. It’s 90s style and that’s fine with me.

We’re drawing too hard of a line for today’s athletes on what’s acceptable and not. For instance, I saw a video from the early 80's of Terry Bradshaw filling a car with 5 cases of beer, racing a Hawaiin Tropic themed race-car from Connecticut to LA, being chased by the police, and wrecking into a swimming pool.