Steve Bannon looks like Christopher Hitchens’ homunculus.

“You look familiar to me. Have you ever been in an elevator with Ray Rice?"

I give it an 8.4 on the Rochter Scale.

This event occurred before we had our son, so I was ignorant of the required balms and ointments required by children. We were at my in laws house for Thanksgiving. They are very trendy and into all kinds of health foods and high-scale Euro consumer goods. I came out of the shower and brushed my teeth with the tube on…

Did Abraham Zapruder film this??

Will he get Funny Boners?

I think we just found a motive . . . Maybe Gregg Zaun is the one who kidnapped Mrs. Ripken!!

My friends and I like to visit odd historical sites, and I usually keep detailed journals of the visits and then try to write funny recaps for our friends. The Martin Van Buren Historical site in Kinderhook, New York is perhaps the saddest "Presidential" tour one can take. It is manned by the cast of a Christopher…

Little known fact - Boo Berry is the ghost of Fred Berry.

He looks like an Aryan Nation Curt Schilling.

The bigger story here is that Albert Speer may be his barber.

St. Louis is Albany with an Arch.

Last year I had to follow this group of idiots for 7 miles. They refused to pull over to the side and held up a line of traffic. At an intersection I snapped this photo of their scattershot riding formation as they then darted into traffic. I yelled at them, "It's not 'Breaking Away'. You are not a Cutter!" Oddly,…

I have a few Jim Kelly autographed cards and some from Andre Reed. Tell Cory I will trade him one of each for the SnapChat account name. And then I will try to negotiate with the Bills.

Blooper reel from Eyes Wide Shut?

In fairness, $100 million of that contract is dedicated to constructing an office for Les Nessman.

Is that a picture of Al Franken playing Gabe Kaplan in a biopic?

He looks like an adult stole his foul ball.

In the moment, I was too embarassed to think. After I got home and he explained what it was, I could immediately make out that it was a cow. The creepy part (as if the picture was not enough) is that for some inexplicable reason, on the opposite page my son drew a giant lobster who locked eyes with the chicken. You…

Regarding the chicken horse tugjob, it was as bad a night as it sounds. We were forced to sit at our kids desks, which were arranged in clusters of 5. I am already uncomfortable sitting in a chair designed for 9 year olds in way too close proximty of 4 other parents - all women mind you. I was one of 2 dads who…