Matlock, Derbyshire. Home to not too many dreads, I’ll wager.

Yeah, Grandma. The rubbish kind. Knock yourself out.

She’s been writing for The Guardian pretty much since she did GBBO:

I love that show! But dear god, the drinking!

What have they done to their noses?

Quentin Tarantino’s cracking one out right now ...

But by then, I’d seen everything.

I like to think that Adele Dixon, on the first television broadcast in the world in 1936 by the BBC, always dressed like this, at home as she’s doing the dishes ...

Well he’s 16 now and in the UK, and here he can leave school and get married at 16 so .... he can pretty much do as he likes. (Apart from drive (17 here) or vote or drink alcohol (18 here).)

Too pretty. Though after seeing the topless mining scene in the latest Poldark I might change my mind ...

Plus he’s British, so almost certainly uncircumcised. Yum.

Sadly we can’t get cheesy Cheetos in the UK anymore :( They launched them here in the early 90s but for some reason they never took off. I loved them: cheesy greasy knobbly goodness. I guess they were too similar to our rather bland in comparison Wotsits. So if any kind soul wants to send me a care package ....

Well, yes.

Plumb? Dear lord, how does Lauren Evans still have a job at Jezebel? She’s barely literate. and no, saying “It’s a typo” is not good enough. If you are are journalist, the English language is your tool. If you don’t know how to use it, or spell it, or can’t be bothered to learn, you shouldn’t be doing this job.

They’re dried, so have an incredibly long shelf-life, with no need for refrigeration. We keep ours in a huge plastic tub.

Mealworms. We buy them by the bushel to feed our wild birds. They love ‘em. And our neighbourhood cats find them tasty too ....

Might be worth mentioning the scale of the maps - I went to the site and they are 1:24,000.

Well just got my paper and the cover went to People Just Do Nothing, a spoof tv doc about pirate radio DJ who are apparently now getting props from the real UK music scene. Ooooh, burn, Dev!

Just to clarify: The Guardian Guide is a small format tv and culture guide, with a few small, undemanding articles on pop culture, movies, musicians etc. The main magazine supplement is called Guardian Weekend and is a much, much bigger deal with heavyweight articles. Both come with the Saturday edition of the paper.…