I’m glad you took a few minutes of your time away from jacking it to child porn to respond to something that had nothing to do with you. Is that a better burn? Or was that too personal?

I suppose that’s true. The most uncool thing about me is that I pretty much give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they prove me wrong. I should probably try and do a better job of being prejudiced and hateful so that I can fit in with all the cool kids, I guess.

He’s just being a proper Gawkerite. You have to shoehorn race or other social issues into everything.

Wow, the amount of classy, over-educated, ivory tower d-bags in here is quite high.

Nah. You’re projecting. These are ordinary block-party neighbors having a bit of fun. I admire their resourcefulness.

You may be right, but we’ll kick your ass anyway.

They all look to be pretty regular people to me. They seem to be having a great time, too.

Did I take a wrong turn somewhere and end up at Jezebel?

I wondered why it suddenly got so sunny, but now I see where all of the shade went.

Nice try...never been there, bitch.

You are SO edgy. Maybe you should go there and class things up with just your mere presence alone? :/

I'm from Philly and the original stories did say they used the hydrant to fill up the pool. Took about an hour and a half to fill up. I actually think it's a pretty cool idea but I guess the city was pissed about them using the hydrant. Would love to link to the article, but Kinja hates me.

Which makes me wonder why they spend 90% of the memo talking about closing or tapping the hydrants illegally.

Why you gotta make this about race?

That’s because this is Center City. If you want overweight, mouth-breathing, Santa-booing slobs, you’d have to go to Northeast Philly or South Jersey.

I called the mayor’s office for further clarification. They said:

That press release seems like the city was just taking the opportunity for some standard finger wagging about fire hydrants. If they filled that dumpster with Pabst (where it belongs), they’d still gripe about hydrants.

dumpster diving at its finest