New blog idea: Old Lesbians That Look Like Old Lesbians

@UkraineNotWeak: Sad but true... if only I could still employ such a simple test. Better that than sitting through one of those agonizing dinners where you both keep checking your phones for text messages that aren't there, right?

This reminds me of being in second grade and making boys eat bugs on the playground at recess to prove that they liked me. Good show, Mallards.

Dear lord! That actually sounds like, really scary and serious. You can die from an injury like that if you hit at the wrong angle. The jackass in me is laughing, but my maternal instinct (or something) is freaking out.

@Doyle McPoyle: You caught me, sir.

Tim Lincecum shops at Hot Topic.

"Earth: The Biography" FTW baby WOOOO!

Heh. I can't ever let a discussion of ridiculous body art go by without mentioning that I dated a dude for almost 3 years who had a tat about the size of a piece of notebook paper on his abs that was Beavis and Butthead skydiving above the caption, "TASTE DEATH LIVE LIFE." Oh yeah. What can I say... even as a…

@TigerWoodsHole: No no... that award was reserved for the winner of the prestigious triathlon, which also included sit-ups and chin-ups. And, if more than 3/4 of the countries participating qualified, they'd get to play freeze tag at the next Olympics!

"Rope climb (1896, 1904, 1924, 1932): Using only their hands, competitors try to see how fast they can get to the top of the rope."

Ohmigod a Night Ranger reference to kick off my morning. Amazing. That is the greatest karaoke song of all time, by the by.

Heh... Iracane, much as I respect your authority and whatnot, I feel like your "executions" wouldn't so much involve that big scary guillotine as they would one of those little bagel chopper thingies.

HOLY CRAP THERE IS A HORN IN THAT MAN'S LEG

@gunga galunga gunga - gunga galunga: @Sid_Luckman: Really? That's the best you got? Given that Manny is a minority and McCormick is a clearly Irish name?

This shit's like the equivalent of idiot chicks at frat parties who start making out with one another when they feel like no one's paying enough attention to them. Only somehow more degrading for everyone involved.

Yikes... it's like the world's most awkwardly public breakup, except that I don't give a shit.

No no, he's just indicating that we're NUMBER ONE BABY WOOOOO!

I hate everyone involved in this story.

I want to know what position the people on that package are using because it looks kinda awesome.

Ron Gardenhire looks like the kind of guy who would sign on to be a mall Santa, then show up drunk and cuss out one of the kids.