@UseTheForceLukeWalton: Agreed. Can we substitute a "sexually awkward headline of the day" contest instead? With the return of Bartolo Colon to MLB pitching, it seems almost criminal not to...

Color me turned on... phew!

THAT WAS SAID IN CONFIDENCE!

Sigh. I miss Shea Hillenbrand*.

Also, as much of a Boston homer as I admittedly am, even I find it a LITTLE over-the-top that the Baseball Tonight graphic on [ESPN.com] is a blatant ripoff of the Green Monster. I guess they know which side their bread is buttered on.

This is quite possibly the least ballsy prediction I have ever read.

I would absolutely call Ryan Freel and tell him it was Farney.

I actually own an Alaska Goldpanners hat and am convinced that this makes me the coolest person ever. Whee!

@The_Dark_Side_of_Oz: @She Blinded Me With Violence:

Last time I checked, "African-American" was not a color. "A deep mahogany brown" or "a rich, earthy sepia," perhaps, but not "African-American."

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: I mean. Would have thought that the obviously affected Southern accent would have lent an air of the tongue-in-cheek to my comment. I watch plenty of baseball, thanks.

Mmm. JD Drew. Prettiest gol darn lefty swing I ever done seen.

Also, I don't think they had "Stomp The Yard" in old-timey days.

The Siamese From The West

@She Blinded Me With Violence: Yeah, there were definitely a few people looking to start shit last night, but in general the whole thing had the feel of a dance floor where no one wants to be the first to start dancing. My sense was that everyone wanted to SEE a riot, but no one actually wanted to, you know, RIOT.

@futuremrsrickankiel: Without wanting to be a huge tool... I did just post on this. Whee self-promotion!

Honestly, last night was my first riot, and I just like... didn't really know what I was supposed to be doing. Everyone around me looked pretty confused too. Is there a manual somewhere?

"Somewhat hungover" doesn't begin to describe it. Guhhh.

... I'm almost ready to stop being a homer and start being a rational human being again. Almost. I swear.

Seriously, with the exception of the first few minutes (which I missed because I was outside finagling my way to the front of an 80,000-person line for a bar by the Garden), I'm not sure Kobe Bryant actually played in the game last night. Perhaps it was his evil android double from a parallel universe?