This picture hurts my eyes.

This stupid country.

Duke has a football team?

@Jen P: Agreed!

I literally would not hit a single player on that list with the POSSIBLE exception of Crosby, who loses points because he's only an inch taller than me, and Brady, who is hella sexy but just doesn't really do it for me. What a stupid list.

Personally, I get my news from a combination of phrases scribbled on bar napkins at Daisy Buchanan's and by reading an ever-multiplying series of backwards tattoos across my torso. Oh, and sometimes I read the Metro, but only when I'm really hard up.

@HazelMaesLandingStrip: If you insist...

@HazelMaesLandingStrip: Uh, no. It was actually the same player (Akinori Iwamura) that took a cringeworthy cleats-to-the-groin slide from Yanks prospect Shelley Duncan.

WTF is "general soreness," KGJr? My doctor told me that was normal.

@Doyle McPoyle: It's become... AWARE of itself.

@Sandy Magic Jackson: Ask Dayton Moore. I imagine that this is what he uses to make real-life decisions concerning the Royals, so he's probably pretty familiar with it.

@Clare: Hee. [www.sportingnews.com]

I don't need any fancy-ass online baseball leagues. I've got this:

You can't, like, OWN stats, man.

I expect (general manager) Kenny Williams to do something Tuesday, and if we don't do anything Tuesday, there are going to be a lot of lineup changes.

@Doyle McPoyle: Ahem.

I'm going to that series as well! For, er, obvious reasons.

Wow. The whole affair sounds awkward as fuck. Dinner with two obscenely wealthy people you don't know who don't even speak your language?

"And just when his team needed it, he pulls a Beyonce: To the left, to the left." — Mark Jackson on a non-shooting hand layup from Rajon Rondo last night

Oh, well if THIS dude admits it, then it's settled. He's a HUGE fan, guys.