"The NFL turned to sixth alternate Joe Flacco, but he declined because his wife is expecting their third child."

What about when he replaced Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men? Big career move

I think the crowd would've really fallen for Owen Hart.

I don't. I invited them over to my place to hang out.

Something else he can't come to grips with.

Huh... I thought it was supposed to honor the victims' average height of 4'09" at the time the abuse occurred.

His first three college games, ever. Against teams ranked #11, #1, and #2. In the divisional championship game, the Sugar Bowl, and the National Championship.

I'm sorry, but before you talk anymore shit I'm going to have to see your stat sheet from when you came off the bench unexpectedly and whomped three of the best teams in the country en route to a National Championship.

When you do something like this, the bond of family is dead. If he's smart, he shows them no compassion or mercy, sues them for everything they own, and leaves them with nothing. Then he has their house burnt down by the fire department as a training exercise and, as his last communication with them, sends them video…

The camouflage is so they can't be seen among all those buildings

Hey, how's that rock you've been living under?

Police Officer: HANDS UP!
Ohio State Fan: [makes "o"]
Ohio State Fan: [makes "h"]
Ohio State Fan: [makes "i"]
Police Officer: [uses entire can of spray]

I understand wanting to use tear gas on OSU fans as a general principle, but c'mon, you at least have to let them fuck up before you do it.

i told u I wanna check u out make sure i like the goods

Gotcha, here's looking to a more prosperous 2015 attempt!

Vin Scully should select inductees for the Hall of Fame. Vin Scully, and no one else.

Still need two more to change the light bulb.

In New York IIRC there's some legislators trying to pass a bill which would have officer involved cases handled at the state level rather than the local level.

Is this some kind of incest joke?

That shot was so bad the Pacers ended up losing by 14.