I have to take powerful antibiotics for a nasty infected cut on my finger, so I'm guzzling down my old pal kombucha to fight the bacterial genocide happening in my digestive system right now. It's making me very slightly tipsy at work, which is fun because no one would ever suspect that one could get buzzed off this…

Same here. Maybe Steve Whitmire is a total asshole, maybe Disney is a total asshole, maybe they both suck, maybe this was all some gross misunderstanding, but I just don't want Kermit's voice to change dammit. That voice is the sound of my childhood.

Odessa good one.

I'm banned in Malaysia, Hong Kong, AND Thailand for trying to parachute directly into her concerts!

"Honey" was good the first billion times. "Heartbreaker" was my jam. The Mariah vs. Evil Mariah bathroom fight scene is something that should be preserved for all time in the Library of Congress.

That's why it's the subject of an entire episode.

You have to put up with a lot of Eddie Griffin in episode 4.

"Make it Happen" got me through a lot of rough shit when I was six years old with nothing but a hairbrush-microphone and a dream.

A gross old man with disgusting amounts of money.

Her life isn't that exciting, in context of her mega-stardom. Here's a rough timeline of the life of Mariah Carey, as interpreted by her publicity:

Ryan Lochte?

Oh my god that would be AMAZING

Ring tailed lemurs?

Lori Loughlin?

Hugh Laurie?

Dammit!

Ah I appear to have been in error, it was only Ivanka who has told that story.

*Sadie Doyle voice* BIN-GO GU-BELMANN!

I think Tiffany has co-opted that story as her own, hasn't she? Does Trump consider taking his children around the street to point at homeless people his idea of family bonding?

That's what I was thinking too, you'd expect a drumstick or a bucket or something. Nobody I know goes to KFC for a chicken sandwich.