She got pregnant when we were 17, and I was silently wishing she’d give the kid up for adoption. Meanwhile, all the adults were like “a baby will make her grow up!”

Well, I do now. I’m guessing…ham-like?

For the record as a non-baby-haver likely to remain that way:

I’m cupping my very not-pregnant (except maybe aesthetically) belly right now imagining that. You’ve got some ovaries of steel, lady.

Well, I doubt they’ll abandon Norfolk entirely, because it’s their headquarters, but yeah, there’s a good chance they’ll try to weasel their way out or around it. Bright side is that, at the very least, someone is protecting animals even if it’s from the so-called animal rights advocates, and that maybe this kind of…

Allegedly, but probably. Though some do escape, a la Paul Haggis and Leah Remini. If I had to place bets, I’d put them on Willow.

Yes, but I don’t give a shit. There’s never a bad time to remind men not to be fuckboys.

DAY MADE.

Clue and/or Madeline Kahn make everything better.

Worth it if the hat is tiny enough.

His name might as well be Brock Amarillo.

Oh, I feel you. And I’m as guilty as anyone of making some mean jokes, particularly when I was Willow’s age. I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad for taking the ridiculously ripe bait Jaden offers up. It’s a real exercise in empathy trying to be patient with their silliness, but I do feel bad for kids trying to grow…

Right? Hopefully these kids will make it to the “wow, I’m embarrassed I ate that shit up” stage most of us get to.

I don’t disagree. If nothing else, Willow will have the advantage of being the younger kid and potentially learning from his mistakes if he does crash and burn. Seen it happen in my own family.

Little known fact: Gwyneth Paltrow is actually half pirate on her father’s side.

Going off Jaden’s thing here (and their Tweets in general), I feel like the Smith kids demonstrate that parents have to walk a very delicate line between respecting their kids as fellow humans (encouraging them to explore their interests, be themselves, not absorb the idea that because they’re kids they should never…

Reportedly, Harris thinks she “demeans” herself by writing about her past relationships.