Best Lifetime movie, bar none.

Preemptively, I’m gonna say if tomorrow people are like “It was a prank! Liberals are so naive and reactionary, blah de blah…”

I think this may be the best point I’ve read on this. Obviously, if it was black students behind this (and I doubt that’s the case), your real boneheaded types will try to claim it’s “a hoax for sympathy or points or…uh…something something race card?” (because I guess they think racism is some sort of game? “Go…

The internet is already cluttered with "What's Van Halen?" today.

You're supposed to grow out of doing that, right?

Because that's the better story, so it's true, goddammit. Don't ruin this for me.

Oh, that's sad. I mean, not the hashtag, her use of it.

"Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Bill Cosby?"

Poor Zeppo Jonas. Live every day like it's your 10,000, you unremarkable quasi-celebrity butterfly.

Well aware of that. It's the backlash (like the Yik Yak posts) I find surprising. Sort of. Again, the administration probably should have seen this coming.

Wait, wait, wait. This shit went down at former-women's-college, 65%-female-35%-male University of Mary Washington?

I feel like there are few subsets of people more likely to be disconnected from reality than wealthy white people getting married.

If I'm 28 and making immature, passive-aggressive swipes at my family on Instagram, put me out of everyone's misery.

You know, every time this pops up on my screen, there's a part of my brain that goes, "That is the weirdest-looking penis I've ever seen."

Aw, she found her lobster!

Robert had a "series" of seven Alaskan Malamute dogs, each named Igor, who "all died mysteriously, of different things, within six months of his owning them."

I did the same thing! I'd only been in a taxi once before when I was about 5, and my roommate was New Zealander, so neither of us realized. I felt so bad. Now when I need a taxi I frequently end up tipping like 50% because my fares are low and I can afford it.

The art of tipping is, for most people, really freaking annoying.

I think he was referencing this: