Yooooo. Serious question: Modcloth has been sending me some crappy clothes lately (usually from there house brand). Anyone got any recommendations for some vintage, quirky inspired stuff? I use to loved Modcloth, but I gotta let em go.

Don’t tell my bride, but I bought her meet-and-greet tickets to see Jim Jefferies as my bridesmaid’s wedding gift.

I spent much of 2006 thinking “Angelina Jolie makes me want to be a wealthy hot single mom”

Cripes, the entire POINT of temps is you can get rid of them the first time they’re shown to be terrible employees!

Oh, man that is tough. I’m so glad you could get him the help he needs!

Uggghhhhhh

Girl, it’s okay. All of it.

It’s going to be rainy and cool all week, so...good!

I would also add to all mental health professionals who have the power to give documentation to random “support animals”, please take your job seriously and don’t just certify your friends’ pets so they don’t have to pay fees. There are legit support animals and keep certifying those. But I know several people who…

got locked out of my other burner after changing phones.. o well

Nice! That’s very nearly a black tongue, goes great with his black eyebrows. Dogs, like me, are simple creatures: play, eat, sleep = bliss. Enjoy these happy days.

Hi Jezzies! I hope you all have been having nice summers. Or winters, if you’re down south. Fair warning, what follows is in overshare territory for some people.

Emotional support animals are not service animals. Service animals undergo special training to perform a specific task for a person with a disability. This can be anything from be a person’s eyes to recognize an oncoming seizure. They’re covered under the ADA. Those vests you see that say, “Don’t pet me. I’m working,”…

Well, they had called him Myrtle. Yes, I know. But we're keeping it because why not? It's fun. 

Her brother (my dog) loves her as much as I do (and won’t stop licking her)!

I am now going to “ma’am spread” everywhere I go.  Thank you.

It’s the hair. 90% of males with great hair try to coast through life without developing a personality, or hunting skills as the case may be

I have no thoughts about Blue Ivy but I just want to connect with someone tonight, our little community, anyone. I feel alone and sad and uncertain.

This sounds SO FUN when you juxtapose it against couples who divorce but still live in the same house because neither of them can afford to move out. 

I might still be married if we could have afforded two households...yet even as I type that, it is exactly what we have now...hmmm