Please invent something to allow me to taste this image.

Should've bought a SodaStream.

I can tell school was difficult for you.

That's what she said.

Do you like prosciutto and melon separately? You will love them together (high quality prosciutto and sweet sweet melon, natch). But it's fine if you don't (I hate when people push me to try things that seem very unpleasant to me).

If Bacon + Peanut Butter = Yummy Goodness

Probably because people drawn to Diet Coke have a tendency toward disordered eating (ok, drinking) behaviors.

It's called an eating disorder.

Please don't confuse what makes you personally uncomfortable with what everyone else should do.

We're all still working on various aspects of this relationship. :) It's nice to vent to someone who understands.

Yes, please give her a personal thanks from Funyuns, for instilling some great values in her child, the infamous Ack.

Mine, too. Last time I saw her, I started crying because she's awesome at attacking my most vulnerable weak spots, and she told me my pouty sad face was ugly and infuriating, so all crying and sadness is banned in her presence.

I was just thinking she was dumb to mention the embarrassing fake plane crash incident, but hey, if disfunction's your shtick, go with it (?).

I hope so, too! The cycle gets broken all the time... And I think it's a plus just to get it going in the right direction.

Your mom sounds amazing! I can't even see your post I'm writing about since Kinja lives to make me lose my place. Dealing with pregnancy, abortion, etc. is touch enough as an adult, I can't imagine the stress and turmoil this would cause a teenager.

I've had a similar experience (and I tried to be Gawker's specialsnowflake, but someone already had the name!). As you might know, forgiving someone is more for yourself than for the person being forgiven. That being said, if getting close or talking to her only causes you pain, you should definitely stay away.

I picture policemen questioning Farrah's mom about decapitated heads in her freezer and her saying "No, I was not mad at Joe Schmo, I never get mad. He swore at me so I had to take a machete to his throat. I'm a very calm person."

"That's a person in her stomach" is some serious bullshit when she so obviously doesn't even know what being a person means. What craziness must possess this lady to say she never gets angry (No, just the opposite, whatever that means).

I wish I knew, too. Having good role models (parent and other older people) and a positive group of friends and maybe activities or organizations to be part of? No idea. Seems so little can be done from the outside.

Ugg,I know... I did not realize her daughter's not a little baby still.