I am ready to throw down over "#LiesToldByFemales I made it from scratch." There is a tart shell baking in the own right now that says otherwise, asshole. If I buy something, I say so. #bakingpride

Wait....

ugh hairless women. it isn't fair.

I did not expect to like Lucy's little song, but damn. I did.

Ted and the kids are dead. Mom's the only one alive.

I have watched this show religiously for 9 years. I am aware of this theory and have always dismissed it until last night. Worst idea EVER.

Cobie? Gorgeous. This dress? Horrid.

Evan Rachel Wood looks stunning, like she stepped out of Hollywood ca 1935.

For some reason Brad Pitt handing out plates like he's at a bbq tickled me to death.

This is literally the best thing to happen tonight period. Thank God for Ellen bringing some humanity to Hollywood. SRSLY.

Maybe it's because I'm with fun friends and we're drinking a bunch of wine, but I mostly enjoyed the show.

"Brad? Angie?"

I liked this bit because it showed that even beautiful, charming, and famous people still look awkward as hell handing out plates and napkins.

Uh uh. This is not perfect, sorry. It cuts off weird across the boobs, and the way the fabric shines makes her midsection look larger than it is. Her hair and makeup look awesome, but this dress is not working.

I really like this, and I don't usually go for her style. Nicely done, Ms. Osbourne.

I WANT THIS DRESS!

This makeup is flawless. FLAWLESS. Perfect cat eye.

wtf?

I'm confused. I'm a straight black woman, but I haven't banged any black chicks either - am I racist, too? Dammit.

1. Why is he addressing "middle class White Americans" for the most part as if they're the only ones who are offended by blackface? Oh wait, I have the answer: because he clearly cares more about white people than black people.