"I don't like beard. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

I just got done masticating. Oh man, it was sooooo goooood…

Not anymore, cupcake!

This Huckabee lady probably should've been ♠️.

I think it's quite obvious that I have not.

McDonald's?

I hate it when I get my Italian proverbs mixed up with my The Who lyrics!

OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with the commentariat all across the country.

Yes. Two.

Pure West.

Try this one, and prepare to be disappointed: http://i64.tinypic.com/jshj…

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

#readingisFUNdamental

True fact: Comedy is better when it is exhaustively explained.

You should go back and listen to all of their older albums. They are better.

Adjusted for inflation, $20 in 1997 now comes out to roughly…

Most people who complain about their rights being violated have probably never read the Constitution.

Thank you, Bill Maher!

Yes. Yes he did.

Really?! I thought that they had analyzed snowflakes and found them to be libtards! Aww, now I look like an idiot!