“slap-shotted”. You have made this midwestern child happy with this text. All the stars for you.

HumblIest. That’s how the closers say it.

My pretzel got lodged in my bush!

Philosophical analysis of throw-away horror movies? Marry me please!

As a recently repatriated Oregonian: I concur. Like who can fucking deal with all this awesomeness?

Probably the best scene in this entirely genius movie!

White cis male here. Watching this made me weepy and hopeful. My life has practically been destroyed over the last two years due to the economy (where’s the fucking recovery, I don’t see it) and Silicon Valley’s rape of the job hunting game. Highly qualified (20+ years!) and unemployed, depressed and nearly suicidal.…

I’m actually accessing this through a library dial-up account, from which I’ve hacked a pipe (look it up, einstein) through a text web browser. I occassionally work nights, so I can get away with sleeping in the library during the day. I’ve since had to switch to graveyard shift at a lumber mill. What a riot!

I live on Soylent Green and Extruded Vegetable Proteins. So I concur.

Ain’t a cliché. “Agressively assertive”? Check. “ a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman”? Check. You don’t know this asshole. I’ve had to overturn her in court, which sucks, because who has the fucking energy? But I proved her wrong, and her behavior would be considered “shrewish bitch” by anyone who knows the…

Sorry, I’m more of a carpet muncher, but thanks.

I made some disposable comments about my terrifying experience of American hubris and bullshit. I don’t see why it required “eat all the dicks”.

Fair enough. I was responding to an individual comment, though I am aware that everyone can see it when I’m “ungreyed.” I wouldn’t quite call Kinja an “open forum”, but that is a separate issue.

THANK YOU FOR THE BORGES REFERENCE!!!

“no immediate escape regardless of effort/determination”. Thank you so much. Just seeing this in writing makes me feel slightly humanized. I can’t explain to you how disturbing the last 2 years have been, when I once considered myself to be a very productive and creative employee who practically prints money for every…

You’re assuming that I have a roof over my head and food in my belly? Fuck you, asshole. You obviously have never lived on the street. I HAVE! FUCK YOU!

The “unfortunate economic situation” is not what I was referring to as rape, but rather a corporation baldy taking illegal retaliatory measures against a person that was deemed “inconvenient”. I am not afraid of manual labor. Before I became a relatively high-ish paid (and don’t get me started about the illegal wage…

Fuck you, asshole. I wasn’t talking to you. The failure of the country to acknowledge and correct the human rights violation against me is what I was talking about, in response to another person’s comment. You don’t know anything about my situation so shut your piehole and suck my dick.

I went from 60k / yr to $10 an hour doing manual labor in a farm field within 2 years. I have applied to over 200 jobs and gotten 4 interviews. I used to win every job interview I went to, now I’ve failed at every one. Living in your parents’ basement at 50 years old is complete and utter humiliation, and nobody gives…

Fair enough. I cannot argue with the logic here. I like to believe that there are still openings to proper reform, but I’m personally feeling like there is not even enough human consciousness on display to even hold the line at our current catastrophic mess. We have really screwed the pooch as a society, and the…