whatever its relative merits, this article deserves the gold medal nobel peace prize for what the fuck has happened to our planet.

Vinho Verde! The most refreshing wine I’ve ever imbibed.

I am not a car enthusiast™, but I’ve had a Honda vehicle for 10 years, and my sole amount of maintenance in all that time was a new set of tires and a battery replacement. I have owned a lot of brands, and even a few other Hondas, but this car is like the undead that cannot be stopped. I’m at 200,000. I’ve had it…

Unfortunately, not being able to learn these rules does not disqualify you from gun ownership, as a plethora of YouTube videos can confirm.

This is like J. Krishnamurti level shit.

As for his comment: “Oh, you can’t do that, and you can’t do this, and you can’t say that.” As Walter Sobchak has helpfully reminded us, THE SUPREME COURT HAS ROUNDLY REJECTED PRIOR RESTRAINT. On the flip side, people can call your ass out for being a dick any time they want. Welcome to the United States, you…

I think it’s very telling that this misogynist asshole who treated his long-time partner Sondra Locke like a piece of chattel uses the word “pussy” as an insult. Hey look dude, this isn’t 1973, ok? He has serious problems.

Rock star. Totally. I am not being ironic. She is killing it.

Sweet Jesus!

This and borderline personality disorder boggle my mind completely. It’s like a complete lack of the “responsibility” gene. Like the people who are all about “their rights” when they don’t have a clue about their “responsibilities”. Oh wait, that is 90% of Kinja power!

Can I buy some of your sophisticated spy equipment? Because I’m absolutely convinced that you’re a fly on his wall.

He’s just the idiot that got caught. If we knew the real deal on most couples, it would be like a smorgasbord of cray. With that said, he is looking super creepy these days, yikes! Maybe some skin care and meditation? C’mon dude, you’re losing it.

“Wine spattered keyboard Kinja”

I know this is a reference to the character in America Psycho, but thinking of Microsoft dorkwad makes this even FUNNIER! “What should exist?” —Paul Allen

“slap-shotted”. You have made this midwestern child happy with this text. All the stars for you.

HumblIest. That’s how the closers say it.

My pretzel got lodged in my bush!

Philosophical analysis of throw-away horror movies? Marry me please!

As a recently repatriated Oregonian: I concur. Like who can fucking deal with all this awesomeness?

Probably the best scene in this entirely genius movie!