The only reason, friend? There’s always racism. Don’t ever discount it.

A CUPCAKE truck use to park right next to my rowhouse. She used to frost and sprinkle there before driving to her usual selling spot. Offered me a discount too because my kid is so damned cute. I’d literally pull the curtains back and see all the buttercream frosting a girl could dream of. Any music that truck played…

Oh my gawd, what I wouldn’t do for a Mister Softee? (Not really, but really...ugh, they just don’t exist down south.) When I used to live in Philly, I always kept a change jar and ratty shoes near door. I would scoop up my little guy under my arm and dash down the street to chase the truck. Such good memories. Later…

I’m at the point now where if I order something for my kiddo off the kids’ menu, he’ll just want to eat my meal instead. Adult meals always look and taste better. I don’t like getting stuck with chicken strips or sad pasta because oooh...look at mom’s plate.

Excuse me if this has been mentioned already,but is there anything we can do to help this girl? Does she have lawyers fees to contend with or medical bills? This story has awakened the she-hulk/mama bear in me. Tell me how to help.

What else is he going to say...I’m taking applications?

Gotta love a good reinvention story. Oh, the things you could get away with before the internet.

Charles Dickens left his wife (of some 20 odd years) for a hot, young thing named Ellen Ternan. He knew that sugar daddy life. He was just better about not getting photographed on a super yacht with her. Or, you know, what ever the 19th century equivalent would be.

I’m imagining an Eric Holder/Kamala Harris ticket. Maybe they could be Super Friends with Tammy Duckworth. Just fixing the country, commanding the troops, celebrating diversity, and generally being awesome. I support it!

Can we have a Godfrey Gao Ken? Kids deserve the dreamiest Kens possible. Make it happen Mattel.

It’s a Shemar Moore doll after he’s been kissing up on all the ladies! Either that, or he just keeps his lips moisturized. You never really know; best to stay ready, fellas.

I thought about canvassing with my son. We live in the district right next door, and I’ve taken my kid to vote with me in EVERY election since he was born. I checked myself when I remembered volunteering outside of Philadelphia. I went canvassing in a Main Line neighborhood and had the cops called on me several times.…

That can be the next issue. I mean, I’ll pay ahead if that makes a difference!