This is just my impression from the news events that have happened over the last week so take it with a grain of salt but here’s my theory. Xi Jinping met with Trump last week, Orange Moron came skipping out of that meeting with a boner and turned the USS Carl Vincent battle fleet around to sail directly to NK.…

I asked them how they can stand it, I mean they seem less scared than me. And they said that they have no choice and they can’t obsess over it, which I don’t know if I’d be that strong.

In history classes far into the future, the question: what was the tipping point that started WWIII? will be easily answered on final exams, much unlike the convoluted response for say, WWI, it will be a simple, one word answer: Twitter.

Jeremy Piven is amazing. Ari was obviously the best part of Entourage, beginning to end. He has some great lines, that I’ve used in conversations:

That is a face in need of a fist.

I did the same with the Angry Birds movie. “What? Oh, it’s not out yet.”

I sense a feel-good, sci-fi, action flick coming on here.

#notallpenishavers

Hi, Penis Haver here.

Ummm...

Speak for yourself.

I need more. More details more stories. More.

I’ve seen some even pull up fucking lawn chairs to watch the body come out.

There’s apparently a town in Newfoundland where a third of the population has the same last name. They’re all descended from one of Blackbeard’s pirates who went AWOL because he liked the local lassies that much.

Have you ever seen a piece of shit with a bigger bullseye on his back? Enjoy prison shithead.

I saw Phil Collins’ face and thought “oh an article for me.”

Now that President Obama has moved on, it’s actually nice to see the new leader of the free world sitting in the Oval Office, and also Donald Trump.

Speaking for myself, he’s definitely a large part of it. Or rather he’s a large part of why I still love it as an adult.

They’re supposed to be awake for the 4 month approach to the planet. I couldn’t help but think how Chris Pratt and JLaw maybe ate all of the food? Or like, did they have kids? Or, who died first and then how long did the other have to be alive with the dead body?

Star Trek TNG bloopers are the best space bloopers. Patrick Stewart flubbing his lines? Gold.