True story:

You can get 2:1 at the sportsbook in Little Caesar’s Palace.

Bi-weekly does not mean semi-weekly; just as a bicentennial is a 200th anniversary, while a semicentennial demarcates 50 years.

As a renowned scientist, I believe I can actually explain this one pretty easily.

Carpet cleaning must be a euphemism for something nefarious. I think you’ve stumbled onto something big, Emma.

Obviously, the MLBPA is colluding with the DNC to run a child sex slave ring out of MLB clubhouses. I mean, “biweekly carpet cleaning” is clearly pederast code. Pizza is a “meal” and we all know the sinister implications of pizza parties. And torn pants need no further clarification.

That’s just all the cocaine.

+1 jug of blue milk to you

Just a guess, but I’d imagine the carpet cleaning would have to be to prevent stuff like MRSA outbreaks.

I assume an irate Darth Jerry gave him the ol’ Admiral Ozzel when news broke that Goodell had received his extension.

There’s always gotta be a the moment I.T. found out he was traded from Boston to Cleveland truther

The teeth clinch is odd and frightening.

Ainge [calls IT]: “Look, this just isn’t working.”

I guess because few players, long considered to be the (short) underdog, pushed himself thru career-ending injuries to put the team on his shoulders, then at the height of his recognition gets unceremoniously traded away like a 3 legged horse.

This is a better, more honest video than most “fans” deserve to watch.

Colin Kaepernick is both ruining the game of football AND having a negative impact on the American economy!

I’m just hoping Mama meets someone, and in a few years the chain rebrands to “Stepdad Roger’s”.

A call in Seattle from New England has not had this bad of a reaction since...

Well, that makes him the first.

As long as you selling ideas and promising riches (in heaven) - you are straight with the penal code. Disgusting, but legal.