I dated a guy who had broken off with a woman he had referred to as batshit crazy. While they were dating, prior to he & I going out, I met her at a social gathering, and when we were introduced, she held out her hand, palm down, like she was Queen Elizabeth and I was a supposed to kiss it I guess? I just laughed…

I don’t know - it’s super common but yet somehow never gets less creepy. I think it’s an escape hatch - rather than having to deal with your own problems, you can just pretend how much better it’ll be once you run away and activate Backup Harem #17A.

“You were supposed to be the girl it was easy to trick into sex!”

What is with this insane compartmentalizing men do? Why do they think they deserve/really feel they NEED to have some relationships roped off or sealed in a bubble or whatever? I mean, it’s creepy enough he apparently thought you lived in a high tower of chaste longing without access to Facebook and would always…

“Technically” means “She’s pregnant.”

It’s classic. Took my two little guys to Disneyland last month. Got in the hot tub at the hotel and there was a pretty attractive guy sitting it in having a drink. He struck up a conversation and started asking me 100 questions about myself. Then tells me he’s there with his wife, two little kids and they have one on…

A guy who worked next door to my office struck up a friendship with me. We were super cool for three years. No mention of a girlfriend. Then I see he got married. It was all over Facebook. I congratulated him. He got all weird and defensive about it. Wouldn’t admit to it. Demanded to know how I knew?

Lol, that’s a classic right up there with “my wife doesn’t understand me.” Why do they all use the same lame, dusty playbook?

Jesus Christ. Your poor great uncles. Can you even imagine being the POW who escaped? That kind of horror never leaves. My grandfather was at Pearl Harbor and only ever told us one terrifying story cloaked in humor to hide his pain. I remember thinking it was such a hilarious moment as a kid, but later realized it was…

I had family who died as a result of Hitler’s march through Hungary. It’s neck-and-neck between Bannon and Gorka for who I think is the most loathsome turd in the White House.

He also insists on being called “Dr. Gorka”. If I ever meet him I’m going to make a point of calling him “Mr. Gorka”.

Damn, that’s rich. It’s always those dudes who boast a little too much about their war service. They’re always complete fucking frauds. I’m looking at you, Jesse Ventura and dead Chris Kyle.

God I wish Gorka would fuck off, if only because he likes to play up his British Army bullshit “oh I was in a super secret Intel unit who hunted down the IRA”.

I feel like worse are the 18% of Democrats who say they approved of the way he handled Charlottseville.

Anyone else shocked the country hasn’t imploded?

And the month isn’t even over....

as long as there are at least 8 mismatched shoes in the ballpit and the child-sized gerbil tubes of a play area still have puddles of piss in them, it will still be chuck e . cheese.

For Hollywood, the success of Girls Trip is considered a “box office anomaly.” 

This should have never happened for any reason, but the fact that they subjected her to this because they suspected her of having weed makes me feel particularly stabby.