That turtle on the right is just one big asshole.

I hear you.

Her and Hill’s Twitter game has been fire lately.

Bye bitches. Off to listen.

I hope MY goes the way of Tucker Max. He has his zeitgeist moment, he pops out a book or 2 and then disappears.

I think that is the best idea. Give Trump a spray bottle, tell him it’s $1,000 dollar water melted from the iceberg that took down Titanic and have him spray himself in the face. I’d watch it.

Maybe.

For me, it’s how he phrased that. I’m sure I’m biased because I think he’s a total shit bird and a manipulative abuser so reading that made me feel like he knew exactly what he was doing and how to walk the line between legal and illegal punishment. I’ve been in an abusive relationship, and worked with abusers before…

Considering how much he and his family of grifters are costing us for their security while they go to Mar-a-Lago, Dubai, NYC, etc. I’m guessing we’re paying for all the meatloaf Chris Christie can eat and everything else too.

Claire, it’s not a smart move to piss on a big chunk of your potential base in hopes of courting those steadily decreasing “moderates.” I hope your ass gets primaried.

You do you, Miss...I’m sorry Madame Hoity Toity. I’ll be over here with my head in a trough of fake buttery goodness. Also, a box Sno-caps.

“I will use light spanking, but it is consistent with the law — open hand on the butt.”

That is a fair assessment.

OMG. I’ve never heard about this! TBH if I was on a hijacked plane I think I’d prefer to think it was a prank rather than an act of terrorism. There’s not enough Xanax and shitty Bloody Marys that could keep me calm in that situation.

He also went on a ramble about the Wright Brothers and their 1903 flight and I was like, “you have the wrong Carolina, you tool!”

I guess we’re looking at the future for American Psychos 1&2.

Why don’t they skate on a shitty, questionably frozen man-made pond with bumps and divots guaranteed to send at least one kid home with a busted face or sprained ankle? With no parental supervision whatsoever. Like we poor rural kids did.

Why is it that any story remotely connected to Kim Jong Un (or North Korea tbh) is completely bonkers?

Mike Pence’s “Mother” is on board.